Archive for October, 2009

Caught By My Past

October 20, 2009

Attending my secondary school gathering last Friday may seem like a good move at first. I caught up with my ex-classmates, got the chance to socialize, and even got to feel 10 years younger too. The gathering itself was enjoyable. However, it brought me back to the past so that.. the past could catch up with me.

Let’s just say that reminiscing the past has the nasty side-effect of reminding me about all sorts of things that happened in between my secondary school days and just before the NS era. More specifically, the events between the second year of Polytechnic and before NS. Lots of things happened during that period that made me the way I am today. Happy, sad – you name it. What’s so painful is that I still can’t cope with the fact that I can ever relive that period of time, so I decided to just shell myself up and just avoid touching on anything related to that era. That’s probably why I appear emotionally-distant at times.

Maybe it was the socializing part that night which brought me out of my “shell”, or maybe I have been thinking too much. Whatever it is, it’s a horrible feeling. It feels like I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone and can’t find my way back. I don’t really know how to continue with this post which I know is very lame, but that’s the way I feel.